Close The Door When You Leave

I don't know who wrote this poem. I found it on a friend's blog. So no copy right infringement is intended. If you or a loved one is dealing with cancer, this is dedicated to you. May you find strength and healing in the one who is all-compassionate.

I never asked you to visit

 At least I don't believe I did

 Maybe I don't know

 It's so confusing

 At any rate, you're a rude guest

 You take my energy,

 rob my sleep, and with a stick

 You swirl and distort my dreams

 All right, You are here for now

 But understand

 There are two places

 That are forever off limits

 You may not tread on my spirit

 You may not occupy my soul

 I have heard of your visits to others

 I know the damage you leave in your path

 The wanton disregard for innocence, value,

 and what some would call fairness

 Also, I hear that laughter confuses you;

 That good food makes you feel bad, and

 That nothing causes you more distress

 Than an autumn sunset,

 The forever blue of a summer sky

 Or the unconditional radiance of a child's smile

 Listen and understand

 You might pilfer my closets,

 Empty all the drawers,

 And trash my house,

 But there are two places

 Forever off limits

 You may not tread on my spirit

 You may not occupy my soul

 Do not mistake my nausea, weakness,

 And pain as signs of your victory

 They are simply small dents

 In the armor I wear to fight you

 Instead, look deeply into my eyes

 That there are two places

 Forever off limits

 You must not

 May not

 Will not tread on my spirit

 You must not

 May not

 Will not occupy my soul

How May I Help You

Just recently, friends of ours learned that their 7 year old son has medulloblastoma, a malignate type of brain tumor. They have been journaling their ordeal and just last night Nick wrote a very insightful blog on what he has learned about caring for others. 

In his own words:

1. Don't help them the way YOU think they should be helped, ask them.  Joey is so patient with us.  Now we ask, "What can we do?" We don't give him advice, or tell him what he needs, we ask a lot of questions and shut our collective cake holes. We've learned to listen...and ask the right questions, and to help him the way he needs us to help him at that moment.

2. Don't ever tell other people how they should feel. He knows how he feels, and if he's sad, and I tell him, "you're doing great!" or "you're fine!"....it's very discouraging to him. Our job is to give him permission to feel however he feels (NONE of us knows how he feels or has gone through what he is going through) and we ask what he needs from us. A wise person once told me, "People always have the right to feel the way they feel".  Doesn't mean they see all the facts or the situation from your perspective, BUT, they have a right to their perspective and feelings.

When someone is hurting, we all want to help; but sometimes, although our intentions are well-meaning, we fall short. Please consider Nick's advice: ask the hurting person how he wants to be helped, don't give advice, accept how the hurting person says he feels, and listen, listen, listen.