Live fully in the community God has designed for us Part 3

You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

As our series continues, let's peek inside the home of another Pharisee who extended a dinner invitation to Jesus and see what happens when an unexpected and uninvited woman by-passes the guest list.

When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.”

Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”

“Tell me, teacher,” he said. Luke 7:36-40

Washing his Feet by Wayne Forte

According to the Pharisee, a real prophet of God would reject the sinner outright, refusing their presence and especially their touch. A true holy man would meticulously maintain the deep, thick lines drawn between sinner and saint. Scoffing, if just to himself, the Pharisee wonders, Why does Jesus just sit there? Why does he allow her to touch him?

Seriously, I don't think Jesus needed to be a mind-reader to know the Pharisee's thoughts. I imagine the look on his face said it all.

Jesus proceeds to tell the Pharisee a parable about two men with two debts: one who owes quite a bit more than the other. However, the moneylender forgives both. Neither man owes even a denarius any longer. When challenged the Pharisee concedes, the one forgiven of the greater debt would love the moneylender more. Jesus then openly declares the woman forgiven, affirms her faith, and bids her to go in peace (7:48-50).

If the attitude of this one Pharisee is any indication, I dare say, this woman hadn't known much peace in her life. Where would a woman like this find peace? At the temple? In her neighborhood? I don't know, but she found it that day in the presence of Jesus when she crashed a dinner party.

Jesus befriended all kinds of people. Those who thought themselves above the slight, called him a friend of sinners. We chuckle at their seemingly benign insult. Was that supposed to sting? To better understand the bite of those words, let's consider this: Who would Jesus hang out with today that would really annoy you? I mean really, really, annoy you?

I'll give you a moment to think …

Ready?

How would we feel about a Jesus who partied it up with the liberal-leaning or the Democrat-voting or the gay-affirming? Or what if Jesus enjoyed the company of the tree-hugging or the yoga-stretching or the feminist-marching? Would it make us squirm to consider a Jesus who didn't just hang out with those types, but delighted in their company, welcomed their conversation, and loved them to death? Would we think him a prophet, a man of God, the holy One? Or would we call him a friend of sinners?

Can we feel the burn now?

Yet a bigger question looms. If Jesus would hang out with those kinds of people, why don't we? Let's face it, a major reason we don't hang out together is because we don't feel comfortable around them and they don't feel safe around us. Which, suffice it to say, is very unlike Jesus, but very much like the Pharisee and the woman in the story.

When we welcome the diverse company of people Jesus welcomed, then we can begin to live fully in the community God has designed for us.

Let's look at a parallel passage in Matthew's Gospel; similar story, different characters.

While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table. When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. “Why this waste?” they asked. “This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.”

Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” Matthew 26:6-13

Mary Washing Jesus' Feet by Soichi Wantanabe

Like the Pharisee in the previous story, the disciples make a few assumptions of their own about a woman. They assume they know how to use her gift better than she does. (Apparently, Jesus likes hanging out with micro-managing, control freaks, too.)

Let's be clear: It's the woman's gift. It's her property. It's her prayerful choice how she gives it to Jesus. The disciples, however, seem clueless about these truths. Completely unaware of the significant act going on right in front of them, they criticize the woman's gift and how she gives it. And since they missed the point, Jesus explains:

When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial.

In the very presence of Jesus, a prophetic moment takes place, but distracted by their own ingrained and destructive attitudes toward women, the disciples completely miss it. No doubt, the disciples loved Jesus; they sacrificed everything for him! Yet because of implicit bias, cultural conditioning, societal practice, and even religious understanding they could not discern the importance of this woman's gift.

Let's be bold for a sec and call out this sin for what it is: sexism. Sexism is not just a nuisance nor an innocuous point of view. It's a destructive barrier to true discernment and healthy communion. It prevents even those closest to Jesus from appreciating the gifts of God through chosen vessels of God and from discerning prophetic acts done right in front of them.

The woman in question here may not have fully understood what she was doing, but that doesn't make what she did any less spirit-inspired. (The prophets of old were never completely aware of the full significance of their words and actions either.) In each scenario, the problem lies not with the woman nor the expression of her gift. The problem lies with the attitudes of the men toward the women. Therefore, Jesus corrects the wrong attitudes and affirms each of the givers.

Women of God, a word of encouragement: In the face of adversity, unfair criticism, and unproductive attitudes share your gifts mindfully, courageously, and generously. The body of Christ needs you more than we sometimes realize.

This woman acted boldly. Familiar with the demeaning and disrespectful attitudes prevalent in her culture and within her religious circles, this woman took her gift, took a chance, and lavishly offered it upon the body of Christ. Thank God.

Women of God, another word of encouragement: Let's acknowledge and appreciate the gifts of women outside our circles. Sometimes we can be just like those disciples. We love Jesus, we stand in close proximity to him, we follow him daily, but all the while we criticize the gifts or dismiss the voices of certain women because they don't look or sound like us. God chooses all kinds of people. He chooses all kinds of women in his kingdom, even those that don't fit our mold. Therefore, let's not stand to the side like the disciples and criticize what we may not yet understand or we may miss something prophetic and profound in our midst.

When we prayerfully acknowledge our implicit biases, thoughtfully lay aside our assumptions, and respectfully learn from women we have a tendency to dismiss, then we can begin to live fully in the community God has designed for us. 

Part 4