Rules to live by from the missionary couple who used to live next door

Once upon a time, a missionary couple moved to Mexico City and lived next door to another missionary couple who helped them survive and thrive in another foreign context by teaching them three simple rules to remember: #1 Never ask why, #2 Never get beat by a bus, and #3 There's always next year.

Obviously, these rules aren't as sacred as the 10 Commandments, nor as heartwarming as Jethro Gibbs' rules for life, nor even as extensive as the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, but they are practical, easy to remember, and may even save your life.

Rule #1 Never ask why

I have filled more air time and journal space these last 13 years asking why than probably any other question uttered by humankind. Sure, Stuart and I have had our fair share of heart-wrenching, soul-crushing why scenarios, but I'm not referring to those. Instead, I'm talking about the quizzical, sometimes comical, “Why'd they do that?” variety that makes cross-cultural life a never ending adventure.

For example ...

I asked for salsa, “Why'd she gave me ketchup?”*

We're eating pizza, “Why are they putting ketchup on their pizza?”

They grow Blue Mountain coffee here, “Why are they drinking Nescafe?”

I bought a 4-cup coffee pot, “Why do they only sell 12-cup filters?”

I need baking soda, “Why'd the clerk direct me to the pharmacy?”

I have a mailbox, “Why'd they put my electric bill on the front lawn?”

As I stand next to my husband, “Why are we waiting in line?”

As I lean on my husband, “Why are there so many people in line?”

As I drop my head and fight back the tears, “Why won't this line ever move?”

(*In case you were wondering: 1. Costa Rica 2. Mexico 3. Jamaica 4. Mexico 5. Mexico 6. Mexico  7. Every country I ever lived in 8. Every country I ever lived in 9. Every country I ever lived in)

Here's the thing, asking why has never resulted in a gratifying response. Truly, never. I've discovered that my oft whispered why's serve more as an exasperated sigh or a way of letting off steam. It's a one word prayer thrust into the cosmos to join all the other “I know I'll never receive a satisfying answer, but I just had to ask” inquiries.

In all seriousness, since becoming a missionary I have asked why 102,700,563 times. Even in those few and far between moments when finally I understood why, it didn't change anything. Bills still ended up on my lawn and lines never got shorter. But as the years slide by, it's become easier to give a knowing nod to the cosmos while I smile and remind myself of Rule #1, Never ask why.

(We'll explore rules #2 and #3 in upcoming posts.)

For all my cross-cultural friends living abroad, now it's your turn. Delight us with your why's. (I'd especially like to hear from expats living in the US!)